I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
