You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
