You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
