We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
