My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
