hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
