I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
