I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't deserve a penis
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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