My liver just broke up with me...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
