You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
