I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No subtext here. People are naked.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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