im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
