Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
