I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This is my gift to your gina
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
