I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
