Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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