So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
