Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
