Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
