Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
