That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
