Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry wesley hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

Fav 5 1897 1137
share tweet
(+61): View more from Australia

Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

Fav 3 3340 968
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.

Fav 4 3137 1150
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.

Fav 6 2738 899
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.

Fav 3 1407 767
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god

Fav 12 1409 656
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.

Fav 1 1112 598
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I think everything's gonna be okay.

Fav 0 55 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?

Fav 0 63 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT