so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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