glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
