I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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