Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
