Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
