Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am never drinking with the goths again.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
