I CAN MOONWALK!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
