What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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