Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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