She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
