A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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