After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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