Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.

Fav 18 841 1508
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(678): View more from Georgia

all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.

Fav 15 1033 3221
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(201): View more from New Jersey

your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night

Fav 18 1398 4864
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet

Fav 22 1372 6371
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(515): View more from Iowa

the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point

Fav 10 6715 1237
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(716): View more from New York

just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

Fav 11 4422 1694
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(954): View more from Florida

I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

Fav 4 1135 683
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?

Fav 2 184 125
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(808): View more from Hawaii

I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.

Fav 0 93 4
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