I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
