I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
