your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
