the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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