Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The air was thick with penises
I don't deserve a penis
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
