I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Randomize
