Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
