I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
