this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
