Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
