it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he puts the penis in happiness.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize