Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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