I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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