Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
where are my pants?
in the oven.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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