So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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