Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
