Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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