it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
