apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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