"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
