Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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