so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
