Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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