I wanna passion pit in your ass
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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