what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
