I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
